The Women Who Stopped Waiting for Permission #19

Track 1 of Sovereignty Week on Hedda’s Mix Tape

Heather Cook with “Mix Tape,” a mural by artist Camilo Rojas (2019) in Art Alley at Cedros, Solana Beach, California. Photo by the author.

International Women’s Day always makes me think about one simple question.

Who told women we needed permission?

Permission to lead.
Permission to speak.
Permission to call ourselves experts.
Permission to take up space.

For a long time, women were trained to wait.

Wait until someone validates the idea.
Wait until someone invites us to the table.
Wait until someone decides we are ready.

But something is continuing to shift - from our mothers in the 70’s to now and all those who’s shoulder we stand on, ancestral strength and alchemy.

Then. Now. Next.

More women are reclaiming authorship of their own lives and ideas.

They are writing.
Teaching.
Building companies.
Organizing communities.
Leading movements.

Not because someone finally approved it.

Because they stopped waiting.

Join the mix

Flowers, Hashtags, and the Real Work

International Women’s Day can sometimes feel like a strange mix of things.

Flowers.
Hashtags.
Panels and inspirational posts.

All of that has its place. Celebration matters.

But the roots of this day are not decorative. They come from labor movements, suffrage movements, and women organizing for rights that were never freely handed over.

International Women’s Day has always been about power, participation, and the unfinished work of equality.

Which makes it a fitting moment to talk about sovereignty.

Why Sovereignty

Every year, I choose a word of the year.

Two years ago it was Enough.

Learning that word changed how I measured everything that came after it, including what I needed to let go of.

Last year, it was Consistency.

I met that word through writing, posting, and showing up regularly in public conversation. Writing has become a practice I deeply love. It is where I metabolize the world and where signal emerges from noise.

This year the word that kept finding me was Sovereignty.

Not the productivity influencer version.

The real one.

The version that appears when you stop outsourcing your authority to institutions, algorithms, trends, or expectations.

The version that begins the moment you trust your own voice enough to use it.

Sovereignty is not a crown.

It is a practice.

And right now, many women are stepping into it.

The Stories We Inherit

One of the things that fascinates me is how culture has always used archetypes to explain women.

The maiden.
The mother.
The crone.
The witch.

Some archetypes were celebrated.

Others were feared.

Many were flattened over time.

Take the Valkyries.

In Norse mythology, they were not decorative figures.

They chose who lived and who fell in battle.
They carried the worthy forward.
They answered only to their own authority.

Later retellings turned them into opera costumes and caricatures.

But the original story still matters.

Because archetypes reveal something about power.

They show us what societies admire and what they try to suppress.

Reclaiming these stories is one way women reclaim authority over our own narratives.

When Women Are Called “Too Much”

Many women know the moment when they are told they are “too much.”

Too outspoken.
Too ambitious.
Too opinionated.
Too confident.

The label often appears the moment a woman stops shrinking first.

Women who speak clearly are told to soften their tone.

Women who lead boldly are told to be less intense.

Women who trust their instincts are told to reconsider.

But “too much” is often just another way of saying you did not wait for permission.

The Permission Slip

One of the most meaningful leadership lessons I ever received came from a handwritten permission slip my high school English teacher once gave me.

It said:

Heather Cook
To wherever she wants to go.

I have kept it framed in my office for decades.

That slip of paper reminds me of something I see constantly now.

Most people are still waiting for permission.

Permission to change careers.
Permission to speak up.
Permission to trust their own thinking.
Permission to call themselves experts.

But permission is rarely given.

It is usually taken.

And the moment someone stops waiting is often the moment sovereignty begins.

Sovereignty Week

This week on Hedda’s Mix Tape, I am exploring sovereignty from several angles.

Some essays will look at mythology and archetypes.

Some will explore cultural patterns around women and authority.

Some will simply be reflections from rooms where women gather, learn, and build the future together.

Here is what is coming this week.

Monday
Entering My Valkyrie Era

Tuesday
Authority Is Moving Closer to the Source

Wednesday
Why Women Are Called Too Much

Thursday
Fridays Are for Women

Friday
Field Notes from Igniting Excellence

Saturday
Sovereignty Is a Practice

Sunday
The Sovereignty Mix

Ideas and music.

Because rebellion has always had a soundtrack.

A Small Invitation

If you are reading this on International Women’s Day, take a moment to think about the women who handed you your own permission slip.

Teachers.
Friends.
Mentors.
Writers.
Artists.
Activists.

Women who spoke clearly enough that you realized you could too.

That lineage matters.

Because sovereignty rarely arrives alone.

It spreads.

From voice to voice.
From woman to woman.
From generation to generation.

Protect your queendom.

Press play.