The Courage to Speak When It’s Easier to Stay Quiet - Newsletter #50

Here’s a beat I’ve come to trust: the quiet right before the voice.  That inhale is where courage lives. It’s where we decide whether we’ll speak, stay silent, or choose a different way to move the room. 

Lately, many of us are standing at that edge more often, inside companies, in our communities, around our tables, and in our own mirrors. We’re being asked to stand up for what’s right, to draw lines that honor our values, and to use our voices even when it’s hard. And sometimes that hardness isn’t dramatic; it’s subtle. It looks like tight smiles, shifting timelines, a comment that doesn’t land right, or a quiet knowing that “this doesn’t align.” 

Why it’s hard (and why that’s okay). 

Using your voice carries risk: to belonging, to reputation, to convenience. You might worry you’ll be misunderstood, labeled “difficult,” or left off the next invite. Your heart might race. Your voice might shake. You may not have the perfect words in the perfect order. 

Here’s what I’ve learned: the shaking isn’t proof that you shouldn’t speak; it’s proof that what you’re about to say matters. Courage is a physiological event, not just a mindset. Your body is doing its job, mobilizing you for significance. 

Principles for speaking up with clarity and care: 

Breathe first. The nervous system will follow your exhale. One breath changes the quality of the next sentence. 

Anchor in purpose. Before you speak, finish this line: I’m speaking to protect/advance/clarify ________. When your “why” is steady, your words don’t have to be perfect. 

Practice out loud. Say it in the shower, on a walk, to your notes app. Rehearsal turns volume down on fear and up on clarity. 

Choose your channel. Not every truth needs a microphone. Some need a hallway, a one-on-one, or a written note that documents the moment. 

Name the value at stake. Tie your point to principles the room already claims: safety, inclusion, quality, customer trust, legal compliance, and team health. Values are bridges, not weapons. 

Invite co-ownership. A good “speak-up” turns an audience into participants: “What would it look like for all of us to uphold this?” 

Let the room be uncomfortable. Discomfort isn’t disrespect. It’s often the tax we pay for alignment. 

Rest after. Courage is a muscle. It tears a little. It rebuilds stronger when you give it air and care. 

Language for the moment you need it. Sometimes the hardest part is the first sentence. Here are a few openers you can tailor to your context: 

• “I want to pause us because something here isn’t aligning with our stated values.” 

• “For the record, this is what I can support, and what I cannot.” 

• “Before we decide, I want to surface a risk I’m not hearing named.” 

• “I may not have the perfect words, but silence would be less honest than this attempt.” 

• “If we proceed this way, who gets left out or harmed? How will we know?” 

• “I’m asking for accountability here; what changes, by when, and who owns it?” 

Copy, paste, remix. Put one in your notes app. Try it this week. 

Calibrated courage. Speaking up isn’t all-or-nothing; it’s calibrated. Some days you’re the voice on the mic; other days you’re the whisper that steadies a colleague before they speak. Sometimes the bravest act is declining to meet with the person who keeps a harmful pattern alive. Sometimes it’s putting your name on the document and saying, This is my stance. 

Calibrated courage also means listening to the people most affected, to the folks who’ve been saying it long before you, and to your own limits. We’re not heroes when we burn out; we’re torches when we keep a flame. 

A Maven practice for this month: 

Pick one room where you’ve been quiet. Name one value you want to protect in that room. Draft one sentence you’ll say the next time the moment arrives. Share it with a friend who will text you a 🫶 right before the meeting. 

Then, when the inhale comes, trust it. You’ve already done the work. 

What I’m carrying forward: last year, I wrote about finding the bravery to use your voice in rooms that feel too big, and how a single breath can change the arc of a conversation. I’m carrying that forward with a stronger spine and a softer heart. The world doesn’t need louder rooms; it needs truer ones. And your voice, steady, shaking, or somewhere in between, is part of making them. 

Onward with you. Onward with all of us. Using our voices for good.

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