YOU BETTER WERK — ONE GLITTERING MOMENT TO SLAY THE RUNWAY

I got up that morning thinking I was going to a doctor’s appointment. My thyroid is acting up again so I was Hashtag Adulting. The thing was, I also had a ticket to be in the live studio audience for the RuPaul show, a new talk show taping a three-week test to run on select Fox stations (New York, Phoenix, Los Angeles, Houston, San Francisco, Minneapolis, and Charlotte).

YES, that RuPaul. The RuPaul I’ve loved since my 1993 days, dancing around my college apartment with Louie, Scott, Molly, Gerson, Marcea, Gene, Stephen, Andrew, Lisa, Troy, and Jim, all of us screaming “Werk (Cover girl)! Werk it girl (Give a twirl)! Do your thing on the runway!”

I talk about RuPaul often, because I believe Mama Ru is one of the most authentic people on the planet. So the chance to be at a taping was a dream — to see an icon and idol, not just to me but to millions — that was priceless. I referenced RuPaul in a recent piece (Why Toxic People Are Dangerous — Sashay Away), and I’d just attended RuPaul’s DragCon for the second time in Los Angeles, so this taping was both well-timed and a real priority.

I woke up and forced myself to log in to find my doctor’s address, only to discover the appointment was oddly absent from my account. I called the doctor’s office and heard these sweet magic words: “The doctor called in sick so we have to reschedule.” I was overjoyed. And baby you know I fired up my hot rollers, got out my Diane von Furstenburg-esque red wrap dress, MAC Viva Glam IV, and my Dorothy Gale red mary jane shoes. In record time I was ready to rock the Warner Brothers Studios.

Fantastic staff members checked everyone in, and just before we were allowed on set, a producer came out and said, “Just so you know, you all have to walk the runway to get to your seats, and RuPaul watches and personally picks a ‘Slay of the Day’ so you better werk it.”

The audience instructions said to wear solid colors, party-wear, and have cute handbags. I did that, but I was also wearing a black cape (it was a cold morning and I’ve been to tapings before — studios are freezing). My bag wasn’t “cute” but it did have an extra pair of shoes, a water bottle, snacks — not so sexy but I needed my supplies.

I decided to use my turn on the runway to do a “reveal,” so I hid my bag under my cape and walked up calmly. At just the precise moment, I threw open my cape with a flourish, revealing my bright red dress, finishing by dragging the cape and bag behind me along the runway. It was so fun— and my first real runway walk.

We all got seated, and the wonderful Michelle Visage and Ross Mathewscame out to “warm up” the audience. All they had to say was,” You got this, Right?” The shared excitement of the crowd was palpable, and we were all ready to yell “yasssssssssss” and “AMEN” and give thunderous applause whenever they asked for it.

Seeing RuPaul hit the runway in a gorgeous suit — live and in person — and hearing that famous “hayyyy” was just fantastic. Ru picked a lovely woman in yellow for “Slay of the Day,” bringing her up on stage to slay it one more time. The rest of the taping was lovely; you feel like you are in Ru’s fabulous living room for a house party. Glitter, art deco designs, purple and pink overstuffed couches, and the words “everybody say love” in neon shining out over all of us.

The taping wrapped and a production person came over to me. She invited me to stay for the next episode taping, adding that they loved my dress. Why not? I was already dressed up and in the studio, and um, yes, of course, I wanted to stay. She told me to grab a snack and come back in to get seated.

When I returned, she said maybe we’ll have you walk the runway again when folks come in. I waited, expecting to be called back. New audience members came in and took their turns on the runway, but I didn’t see anyone give me the high sign, so I figured they were likely pressed for time and wouldn’t call me back.

Michelle and Ross did their thing again, and Ru appeared in another flawless suit, saying hello to the new crowd. Then Ru said, “Now it’s time for me to pick my “Slay of the Day.” RuPaul looked around and pointed directly at me, saying, “It’s YOU! The woman with the red flower in her hair — You are my SLAY OF THE DAY!” You can tell by the look on my face I was surprised. Ru said, “Get on up here.” I hustled myself up and there I was — standing next to Ru on the runway, in total shock. What was it like? He is so tall — glamazon and gorgeous — certainly I must have floated on a cloud of glitter and sparkles to stand beside him. Ru asked my name and where I’m from, then said, “Well okay girl, you got one more in you? Can we see you slay this runway one more time?” I said, “you betcha.” I turned around, walked to the back of the runway, spun around, and sashayed myself down. My inner voice said over and over, “be fierce, don’t fall, be fierce, don’t fall,” and hearing Ru yell, “yassssssss” my heart sang and it was a blast. It all happened so fast, and before I knew it I was back in my seat in the audience, my heart pumping overtime.