A few thoughts on getting through, what happens after a suicide, when you are the one(s) that are left. What do you do, how do you cope and make sense of things? This is a personal story of my family.
My baseline is joy. But we all have bad days, and things that hurt in our hearts. Fear, toxicity, anger, chronic pain, longing, disappointment, childhood trauma, and adult trauma.
We don’t talk about these things enough. We call them “things”, we let them sit and dwell; we let them fester and make us sick, breed disease, perpetuate self-loathing and catalyze into a world of overmedication, obesity, crime, alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, shame, and suicide.
You never know what is behind someone’s smiling eyes. I try hard to lead with keeping that in mind always.
How to smother a narcissist. A fire burns because of fuel and oxygen. Ignition. Time, energy, love, attention are all fuel to the narcissist fire. To put out that fire, use these simple steps: (And I know they are not easy) Don’t let them push your buttons. They love that. No reaction can be a fire extinguisher. Stop communications. No texting. No liking. No following. No checking relentlessly. Let them go.
My Morning Making Ritual — a combo of this has been in effect for the past year and a half or so.
But I added to it today, lemon water and calling my senators. :)
Meditate 10 min —http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations they are free and awesome.
Read an article on Medium or 10 min of a current book.
Write for 10–20 minutes (ideas for blogs, journal entry something non-work for me)
Call my Senators — CA — Dianne Feinstein & Kamala Harris with my choices/thoughts on the cabinet, climate denial, women's rights and reproductive freedom.
Drink a big glass of lemon water. (and keep it full all day)
Eat 2 hard-boiled eggs, 3 Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausages, half an avocado, and coffee with almond milk. Feed the dog same time.
Shower and get dressed for the day.
Check my calendar, email, Hubspot, Twitter, Instagram and FB in that order.
With that I’m fierce, awesome and ready to take on whatever.
In the late afternoon/evening I exercise, work on my Spanish with Duolingo and usually read/write some more along with emails, go out and see stuff, get outside.
What’s your ritual? I’ve found that having one and sticking to it as much as humanly possible makes for great productivity and the ability for me to be even better at dealing with things on the fly. Thank you Rachel!
This isn’t a resolution, I don’t do those and don’t like those. This is my continuing to pay attention to what I need and obsessing about me instead of other people and things. Try a ritual — heck make it simply two things you do every morning.
My Dad told me about a book called Grit by Angela Duckworth and how if you make your bed every morning like the Navy SEALS, you accomplished that for the day.
It is the little things.
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