How to smother a narcissist. (and why we should)

How to smother a narcissist.

A fire burns because of fuel and oxygen. Ignition.

Time, energy, love, attention are all fuel to the narcissist fire.

To put out that fire, use these simple steps:

(And I know they are not easy)

Don’t let them push your buttons.

They love that.

No reaction can be a fire extinguisher.

Stop communications.

No texting.

No liking.

No following.

No checking relentlessly.

Let them go.

Use your time, love, energy, ratings, attention and goodness

On you and the people who are NOT

Energy vampires.

Put up boundaries.

You choose who to give your



Energy, Attention and

Goodness to

They will not change

They will not relent until

You stop fanning the flames.

Your real partners, friends, family, lovers, colleagues

Will give to you as much as you give to them.

Most narcissists have no conception

That they are one.

They are simply clueless.


And probably the brightest

Star in your sky.

Real people

Show up

Ask about you


Don’t fuck with you

Don’t make you wait.

I am so sick of seeing people in my life

Continuously deal with these


The freedom that comes from

Releasing yourself from their

Maniacal gaze

Is so very powerful.

Be it the person closest to you

Or someone in power

This extinguishing act IS the ultimate move

In loving yourself

Which in turn

Makes our entire world better.

I’m not saying roll over


Speak your mind.

But stop falling

Into the traps.

Talk the behavior through

With people you trust

If they say “what the hell”

Then you know.

I ask every group of women

I speak to at conferences

If they have a narcissist in their lives

Make them raise

Their hands

It’s staggering to see the sea of hands.

There are lady narcissists too so it is equal

Opportunity ridiculousness.

The thing is, is that you get one life.

Do not let anyone drive you bananas.

Do not let anyone tell you lies about yourself.

Start with one glass of water.

You do not belong to anyone

There is no “mine”

You are yours.

Or we are ours because

We choose to connect,

We give our love to others

But keep ourselves ours

Without force or fear.

We all have our egos

We all want to be loved and liked

Some need the spotlight more than others

But we all deserve to be treated

With love

Kindness and respect.

Stand up

Rise up

And never surrender.

A moment of pause

Can change your (the) world.

Smother the fire

And fan your own flame

I want to see you shine.


And get the fuck away from these people.

The only phoenix to rise from this ash darling,



Smother the narcissists.

Fan your flame.


Written by Head Maven & CEO, Heather Newman, Creative Maven

Once a month we share where to find Heather in the world and the most “maven/expert” opinions on marketing, brand, travel, and culture that we like from the internet. Receive our next issue by signing up here. Posts are also shared on @heddanewman

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